Depression.

Last night I was beyond stupid. I did something so incredibly irresponsible with you and your brothers in the house and your dad had to save the day. I have ruined the trust and good standing we had and now he is rightfully angry with me. I don't thin he could ever hate me as much as I hate myself, but I am sure there is plenty of negative feeling toward me. I am so heartbroken right now because of what I have done.

I hope that you know that I love you and your brothers, and I never meant to do something that would hurt our family. This was the wake up call I needed to get help for my post partum depression, the current medication I am on is not helping and may actually be making things worse.

I will do everything within my power to make this up to you, your brothers, and your father. I will prove to all of you that I am better than this and it will never happen again. I wish that I could make it all go away but I have to take this situation and use it to learn my lesson and better myself.